Lola Spitfire "Burlesque's Little Flaming Firecracker" "The Pied Piper of Booty" Lola Spitfire has over 20 years of performing arts training and experience. In 2003 she found herself high heels first in burlesque, after being cast in Finlandia Vodka’s campaign “Refresh with Burlesque”. Through the campaign she was trained by the Cantankerous Lollies from San Francisco and hit the stages up and down the coast of California. Falling in love with burlesque Lola decided to branch out, like Beyonce, as a solo artist; performing at 12 Galaxies in San Francisco with The Lollies, Kitten on the Keys and San Francisco’s Famous Burlesque Orchestra, The Congo Room in Los Angeles for Bella Beretta’s “A Night of Novice Nudes” and at The California Institute of Abnormal Art in Burbank for Lenora Claire’s “Low Brow and High Heels” and “Apocolipstick”: Chad Michael Wards “Sin Garden” Launch Party, to name of few. Lola was also honored to join the Lollies and Harvest Moon at the 2003 Tease-O-Rama at The Henry Music Box Theater in Los Angeles. Since the early days of Lola’s burlesque career she has been fortune to be featured in many of the nations top burlesque festivals and in such shows as Roxi D’Lite’s “Boom Boom Burlesque” in Windsor Canada and Theatre Bizarre in Detroit. In 2009 she was officially sanctioned by burlesque legend Satan’s Angel as “A Queen of the Fire Tassels” and was voted, by her peers and fans as one of the Top 50 Burlesque Performers in the world by 21st Century Burlesque 2009-2012. Lola is the founder and, now, advising director of Colorado’s Burlesque Super Troupe, the award winning, Peaks and Pasties, where they produces monthly burlesque and variety shows. Peaks and Pasties are the pioneers of burlesque in Southern Colorado and stand to this day the only burlesque troupe south of Denver. Founded in the summer of 2007 in Lola’s back yard, Peaks and Pasties have grown to be a mighty force within the Colorado and international burlesque communities. (www.peaksandpasties.com) She is the creator and former-headmistress of The Peaks and Pasties Academy of Burlesque. It’s 6-week burlesque intensive has produced some of America’s favorite burlesque performers, who have graced the stages of many national and international burlesque festivals and shows, including the top three festivals; Burlesque Hall of Fame Weekend, Tease-O-Rama and The New York Burlesque Festival. This extensive burlesque educational symposium has also hosted some of burlesque’s most renowned teachers, including Jo Boobs Weldon, Coco Lectric, Inga Ingénue, Kitten DeVille, Lola van Ella, Ray Gun, The Shanghai Pearl and a whole lot more! Lola is a producers of The Colorado Burlesque Festival, an annual star studded weekender, in Denver, starring the best of local and international burlesque, boylesque and variety (www.coloradoburlesquefestival.com) and is on the board of directors for The Burlesque hall of Fame Weekend “Super Bowl of Striptease”, where she is co-head of legends matters. “You build strong, unique and beautiful woman into a force unmatched by anyone in the world. You should be proud of your work and how it changes people’s lives. It changed mine, and I am ever grateful to you.”- Hazel Humdinger.
Ruby Sparkle Ruby Sparkle is the co-executive director and lead costume designer of Peaks and Pasties, Southern Colorado's first and only burlesque, boylesque, vaudevillian, variety troupe. She is co-instructor of The Spitfire and Sparkle Academy of Burlesque, teaching students the in's, out's and off's of costume design for burlesque. When not sewing up a storm, Ruby has dedicated her time and creative energy to several other fun and risque community groups. Ruby, then known as Betty Berzerker, was the co-captain of the Candy Snipers, a team from the Pikes Peak Derby Dames all girl Flat Track roller derby team. She helped lead the Candy Snipers to their first undefeated season. But as a skater without health insurance she decided to leave in good condition, and thought pouring blood on herself might be safer. So, she joined a troupe of murderous mavens called The Go-Go Gore Girls, making her debut as Ruby Bloodbath. After bathing in blood numerous times Ruby followed a dream and started the weird and wonderful girl group The Evilettes. It started as a fun joke but then offers to perform started rolling in. The Evilettes have opened for notable bands like The Mansfields and have played various birthday shows. In 2008, Ruby made her burlesque debut, changing her name to Ruby Sparkle. She emerged as a reliable and committed leader, working tirelessly alongside Lola Spitfire to help produce shows of tasteful and comedic quality. Ruby also helps new members of Peaks and Pasties (Ruby's Newbies) to learn the general operations within Peaks and Pasties and to feel welcome to the troupe. Ruby lives in Colorado Springs with her husband Troy, a tattoo artist and graphic designer, and their fabulous cat, Milo.
Boopsie! "The Reigning Clown of Burlesque" Boopsie is a Colorado Springs native. She has dabbled here and there with theatre, well if you consider playing a 'background Who' in the Grinch who stole Christmas, dabbling in theatre. Later in her teenage years Boops, being the bad ass rebel that she was, went down a path of damnation and blasphemy. She began performing as a dominatrix at a local shit hole. This is where Boops found her passion in performance. But she soon became bored with beating the shit out of scrawny little Goth boys and undercover policeman. So she branched out and became the lead vocalist in a silly little punk band called Lambasted. It was here where she began building the Boop Scoops audiences know and love today. After a couple of years in the band Boops became addicted to exposing herself in public. After it was obvious she had a problem, her concerned band members attempted to seek help for Boops, even rehab. She became frustrated and distant from the band. Until one day she met Lola Spitfire, Lola told Boops; "Come, and you can be free to expose yourself on stage with me!" It was almost as if god had sent a messenger with a tattooed kiss on her ass to Boop's rescue. Boop Scoops had finally found herself and lived happily ever after exposing herself to all!
Bunny Bee™ "The Glamorous Blonde" Bunny Bee began modeling full time in 2007 and has won prestigious notoriety within the modeling industry as a model. She has broad experience within the industry, and has worked with many different and well known photographers, companies, promotional, variety of different bikini companies as well as Playboy. Bunny Bee joined Peaks and Pasties in Colorado Springs in March of 2009, and became a Co-Director/Producer in 2010. She has been performing with the troupe locally since her debut in April of 2009, and has made guest appearances worldwide making her a known International Burlesque Performer. She competed for Queen at the Kansas City Burlesque Festival in 2012 and the same year won the physical fitness Golden Pasties award at the New York Burlesque Festival. She is a Director/Producer of Peaks and Pasties, The Colorado Burlesque Festival, and in 2014 was elected as a Board Member of The Burlesque Hall of Fame ("BHoF"). Bunny Bee has a huge following of fans both in the burlesque community as well as her modeling. Bunny Bee describes herself as outgoing, fun, and a spontaneous individual. "I love change and will adapt easily to it. I can be the life of the party or enjoy relaxing at home with family. I'm a Type-A personality, and love to be in the middle of everything. I also am an observer of my environment to learn as much as I can about the people and situations around me."
Mr. Valdez "Everybody's MR Right Now" Mr. Valdez is the first Male-Burlesque performer in Southern Colorado. Starting out as a human prop when Peaks and Pasties first began, he has made his way from core member to Veteran. He started out choreographing group numbers for Peaks and Pasties and was then asked by Lola Spitfire to perform a solo act. She had no idea the door that she had opened. The once dormant performer in Mr. Valdez was reawakened and he has never looked back. He has performed in every venue that Peaks and Pasties performs at over the past few years and has proven to be a crown favorite. His unique style of performing has set him aside from other Male-Burlesquers in the country. The first group number that Mr. Valdez choreographed, Gimme More, was featured on the World News website when the movie Burlesque was about to be released. His performance was recognized by the producers of the first ever Colorado Burlesque Festival where he was given the honor of performing at the main event with the country's leading Burlesque and Male-Burlesque performers. Among these performers was the father of Boylesque himself, Tigger. Mr. Valdez now shares his knowledge of performing in the Spitfire, Sparkle & Scoops Academy of Burlesque with future Male-Burlesque performers. He acts as POC for some of the venues in Colorado Springs where the shows that he has produced have broken venue records for attendance and revenue. He looks forward to continuing the growth and success of Peaks and Pasties for years to come.
Annie Envy "Colorado Springs' Favorite Fire Crotch" An original member of Peaks and Pasties, Annie has been performing with the troupe since the beginning! Annie began her artistic career in Theater with stage performances in small theaters across Colorado. She's been nominated for best actress in Colorado Springs in 2014, and won bronze for best actress in 2012. You can catch her on stage at SET, Theatre 'd Art, Star Bar, the MAT and the Fine Arts Center. Known to wreck childhoods with her Little Mermaid act, Annie uses her keen wit and steaming sexuality to blow the minds of her audience! Annie Envy has been part of the Colorado Burlesque Festival 2011, 2013 & 2014.
Bebe Barrio Bebe Barrio returns after a 5 year hiatus in Florida where she spent most of her days lounging at the beach, planning her escape back to Colorado. Bebe has studied theater and dance all her life but a chance encounter with a group of budding ecdysiasts opened her eyes to a whole new world of creative self-expression and true happiness. As a founding member of Southern Colorado's first and only burlesque super troupe, Peaks and Pasties, this flirty muchacha has shimmed and shaked at the Colorado Burlesque Festival, Southwest Burlesque Festival, and Burning Man. Studying under Colorado's Burlesque Royalty, Lola Spitfire, Fanny Spankings & Midnight Martini, Bebe delivers a performance in classic striptease that will surely make you say, “Me Gusta” .
The Dirty Den Mother ("Binky") How did she get her name? Spend a little time around her and you may turn a little red in the face. This woman of class knows what she likes and isn’t afraid to state it to the world – OK, at least to her friends. Since growing up in the San Francisco area, Binky has loved Burlesque. In 2008, a chance encounter with a performer led to her going to her first Peaks and Pasties show. Thats was all it took; this lady knew she was going to be part of this sexy outfit. Binky is a graduate of the Peaks and Pasties workshop, but prefers to be behind the scenes assisting performers. Her obsession for finding vintage clothing has led to her dressing many burlesque performers.
Gezelle Za Belle Gezelle Za Belle was a natural born femme fatale. She was born, and then she danced. Studying the art of dance since the ripe young age of 5, ballet, tap and Fosse style jazz were(are) her..... forte'. She performed the classic can can first at the age of 9 and again at the age of 12 (if that isn't foreshadowing, I don't know what is!). She belonged to her company; The Dance Center performing/ competing troupe, in jazz and tap (lots of chorus line, and show girl Busby Berkly influence). The troupe took first in almost all of the state wide competitions, and performed often at local charities and events. But it was always the hip rolls, kicks and shoulder shrugs that brought an extra shine in her eyes. Gezelle immediately put her talents to use, and headed straight to a friendly little gentleman's club. As slinky Gypsy (go figure) she danced at a few clubs across the nation, and even Vegas once. Her favorite was her local strict and classy strip club where she could dance to her own music, put on more tease/ burly-q type performances during the day shift and be left to explore the night, following romance and music. Often seen wearing black, standing in front of a violent crowd, close to the stage and lights, worshiping music. Speaking of stage and lights, she has dabbled in theater stage and screen. Oddly enough, this femme fatale' has committed murder! In every one of the 3 independent local B movies she has been in (Gentle Fritz. IMDB). A trend that started oddly enough at a young age when she played a murderess in a church melodrama. "Gypsy" was put to rest as most young adults first careers are after 10 off and on years. But how and where was she going to express her desire to perform her mock blood lust and dance in skimpy outfits? Hmmm the Go-Go Gore Girls of course! A voice rang out from behind the counter at a costume shop..."do you want to be in my horror burlesque troupe?" Absolutely! Dancing and murdering on stage at the same time!! The B-horror was off the screen and into the hearts of many whom were lucky enough to catch the act. Here Gezelle Za Belle was unleashed, kinda a Jezebel/Beelzebub/belle' thing and a dash of gazelle animal totem on top! Gezelle met Ruby Bloodbath , fellow gore gal (soon to be our beloved Ruby Sparkle!) As the Go-Go Gore Girls reign came to an end, Ruby announced burlesque is the way, meet Lola Spitfire! Gezelle Za Belle put away her hatchets, boots and fake blood, for fans, strappy heels, and glitter and joined to be one of the original Peaks and Pasties members!
Hazel Humdinger "The Slap and Tickle of Burlesque" Hazel Humdinger likes to refer to herself as, "the SLAP and tickle of Burlesque." She has been performing and Emceeing for Peaks and Pasties since 2008. She loves to give her audience the performance equivalent of "The Shocker!!" Promptly rewarding them with her hilariousness and nudity! Leaving everyone in the audience either laughing or a little sore.... Hazel was the first member of Peaks and Pasties to be asked to perform at the Burlesque Hall of Fame weekend in Las Vegas, 2011; an accomplishment she couldn't have ever done without the support of her Peaks and Pasties family. It was absolutely the highlight of her burlesque career so far and she has plans to return. Hazel provides others with the opportunity to act foolishly at her Karaoke night at the Zodiac Venue/Bar (which is also Peaks and Pasties' home bar!!) Being a karaoke DJ over the last three years has given Hazel the opportunity to be entertained by others every week and listen to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" more than anyone could ever ask for. Hazel caught the pastie making bug and has been topping the troupe's titties since 2009. There is nothing she can't turn into a bedazzled boobie adornment with a twirling tassel. She's done every shape from the regular hearts, stars and rounds, to skulls, bees, butterflies and even the Cheshire Cats face all in crystals!! She recently conquered the cosmetology program at Paul Mitch the School. Hazel uses her performance skills to make sure that no one has a dull time getting their hair done! (No, she doesn't show her boobies to the clients!! Lord knows you would have to pay her a LOT more to get all that hair off her tits, and the curling iron should never be that close to your breasts...never.) There is nothing that this woman can't/wont do! She is ready and willing for the next big and bad challenge. Hazel's character is shameless so you better be ready to hear and see somethings that God never intended people to see or hear, and LIKE IT!!
Holly Amorous Holly Amorous has performed at a variety of venues in Colorado Springs, Denver and New Mexico. In addition to being invited to perform in Two Bunny Bee productions, Holly’s biggest honor so far has been participating in several group numbers at the Colorado Burlesque Festival in 2012. Holly is a vivacious and dedicated member of PNP who jumps at the opportunity to participate in anything she can from kittening, to group numbers and any extra activities PNP is involved in. If you hear about PNP doing a car wash, parade, event, or community outreach service you can bet Holly will be present. Recently, though she has become a mother and fallen back slightly from performing but this “break” of sorts will be short lived as she has many new projects she is planning. Since joining the troupe Holly has discovered a love of huge skirts and costumes with many layers. She had no idea that building and putting together a burlesque number to graduate from the Academy would lead to such an obsession. “The friends I have made, talent I have seen, memories I have built, and passion along with inspiration that I have found are beyond compare. I know none of it would have happened without this troupe and am so grateful to be able to call myself a Peaks and Pasties member.” If pressed, she would say that character acts are her thing but she hopes to explore and touch on many styles in the future. Be sure to keep an eye out for Holly Amorous, she won’t be hard to find on local and national the Burlesque scene!
Hopz N Maltz If you haven’t guessed it, Hopz loves beer, bourbon, burlesque, and boobs (B4). He has lived in Colorado Springs since 2003, and got introduced to burlesque after his beautiful wife Binky (The Dirty Den Mother) took the Peaks and Pasties workshop in 2008. Hopz also took the workshop, but found his true burlesque calling was behinds the scenes. You will often find him working some aspect of a Peaks and Pasties show or assisting with the Colorado Burlesque Festival. He loves providing feedback to the Troupe members on what makes their performances truly unforgettable to a non-performing B4 aficionado.
Mam'zelle Hepzibah "The Blue Lady" Borne out of music, the young Mam'zelle Hepzibah wanted to learn how to play the violin, but her parents, former members of Tesseract, gave her a melodica instead. Fifteen years later, she is a self-taught guitarist. You figure that one out. At the Academy of Dance, she studied ballet, tap, and jazz, performing her first recital at the age of 11. In high school, she took drama classes and learned a little bit about what it means to be an actress as well as how cutthroat it can be just to get on stage. After using her crafty crafting abilities to win a Halloween costume contest in 2010, she decided the obvious choice for pooling her collective talents was to join Peaks and Pasties. Since that time she has performed a variety of acts, winning the admiration of her peers for her costumes, dancing, singing, and guitar playing. When not removing her clothing in front of large audiences, Hepzibah enjoys drinking, playing video games, and reading comic books, but mostly drinking. Her super powers include, but are not limited to, enhanced agility, speed, lighting-fast relexes, cat-like coordination and balance, hyper-keen sensory awareness, and inhumanly acute night-vision. She also has a pretty good sense of smell.
Mustang Monroe "The Bendiest Boy in Colorado" Mustang Monroe has been a proud member of Peaks and Pasties since 2011. In that time, he's travelled the country performing his unique style of male burlesque. He's been everywhere from Las Vegas, to New York City, and recently to Jamaica for the Caribbean Burlesque Festival. He is also one third of the Brotherhood of Burlesque. A trio comprised of himself, Mr. Valdez, and Damian Wunderluv.
Whiskey Darling "The Town Drunk of Burlesque" Whiskey Darling has been performing with Peaks and Pasties for since 2009. She has performed at the Colorado Burlesque Festival, The Southwest Burlesque Showcase, The Arizona Burlesque Festival as well as venues all over Colorado and New Mexico. Known as The Town Drunk of Burlesque, she "intoxicates" audiences with her unusual, comedic, creative and whiskey-fueled performances. She puts the ass in class and can drink anyone under the table. Don't believe us? Buy her a drink and find out!
Always be yourself. Unless you can be a dragon. Then always be a dragon! Alexander Draegon took those words to heart in a big way. He delights in showing audiences exactly who he is: the biggest nerd around! Draegon began attending burlesque shows with his love, Serenity Mystique, long before he ever saw himself on stage. Draegon graduated with Serenity in October of 2018 and immediately began signing up for whatever jobs the troupe needs done. A more-comfortable-behind-the-curtains kinda guy, Draegon is as interested in stage management and producing as he is performing, but he loves challenging himself by popping out on stage when possible to remind everyone of the dragon he is. Draegon specializes in nerdlesque (obviously) and loves bringing his favorite characters to life on stage in a sexy way. But he won’t say no to a classic burlesque zoot suit act if it tickles his fancy either!
Anaughty Miss first took the stage in March 2013 and officially graduated as a member of Peaks and Pasties January 2014, becoming one the hardest working members of the troupe. Depending on the day you may find her kittening, producing, photographing, walking in parades, or working the merchandise table. She is Executive Producer for Peaks and Pasties shows at Zodiac Venue/Bar as well as her duties as founding member Lola Spitfire's assistant. In addition, Anaughty Miss travels frequently for her job as a boudoir photographer and loves attending hockey games. When it comes to being "The Professional", "She Knows" that she is "The One We Look to When We Need an Adult."
Named "Best Breasts in the West!" Cadince Voluptuous has been performing with PnP since 2010, when sister Boopsie and creator of PnP Lola Spitfire drunkenly talked her into joining on her 21st birthday. Since then she has appeared in numerous magazines as "Pin-up of the Month" as well as bumping and grinding all over Colorado Springs. She went from being the shy and quite girl to the back of the class to taking it all off on stage for you! Her biggest accomplishment so far is preforming main stage for the Colorado Burlesque Festival in the Viva Las Vegas PnP group number. You can see Cadince taking it off to anything from Rob Zombie to Christina Agulair, but you'll always notice her from her neon hair colors!
She is sugar and spice and everything nice! Candy Bottom is a shy and quiet kind of girl, but don’t let that sweet smile fool you. Once she hits that stage she will show you what a voluptuous vixen she can be! Her passion for burlesque has taken her on many adventures across the states. She plans on taking many more adventures to far off, exotic places. She is working on bringing more of her Hispanic heritage to the stage in her upcoming performances! So keep an eye out for “The sweetest ass-et to come out of Colorado”
Copper Flame- “The Little Firecracker with a BIG BANG!” Copper Flame has been a dancer and performer since the age of 3. She has a background in Classical Ballet and various Latin dance styles. You will especially notice the Latin influence in many of her acts. She has performed professionally in Texas, the Dominican Republic and Panama. After taking about 5 years off to focus on being a Mom, she felt it was time to get back on the stage again. She craved an outlet to be able to express her artistic visions and desires. The only way she knew best was with dance. Burlesque was the perfect outlet for Copper. For her, it was a mix of dance, creativity, empowerment and most importantly sensuality- to crave that fiery side of her. She discovered Burlesque after reading an article in The Independent, intrigued she decided to attend the next Burlesque workshop to see what it was all about. Copper Flame’s love of Burlesque grew after attending the Spitfire, Sparkle & Scoops Academy of Burlesque in the Fall of 2011. Since becoming a member of Peaks and Pasties, she has performed in various venues in Colorado Springs and has participated in Peaks and Pasties’ group numbers at both the Colorado Burlesque Festival and the Southwest Burlesque Showcase in New Mexico. This fiery little Latina may be a small, petite 5 foot package, but she is a firecracker when she gets up on stage!
Foxie Dreame joined Peaks and Pasties in May of 2015. She was coerced into doing so by her beloved, Romeo Uncaged, who wanted to do something that scared him. She hesitantly agreed, and is so glad she did! Foxie enjoys baring her body for the sake of performance art as often as possible, and has made some wonderful friends and interesting acquaintances along the way. She is a professional massage therapist, and co-owns Primal Playground where she is a CrossFit coach. Foxie is passionate about Romeo, health, fitness, and nutrition, and is a bona-fide foodie. She also co-owns Taboo Productions, an event planning company that promotes body positivity and the acceptance of “alternative” lifestyles . Recently, Foxie was humbled to accept an invitation to produce shows for Peaks and Pasties, and most recently produced the new graduates show with Romeo Uncaged.
Miss Terrie (pronounced: MIS tuh-REE) has been with Peaks and Pasties since July 2013. She began her love of the stage at an early age performing in elementary school talent shows. Miss Terrie has an intense love of humor, which can often be seen when she is performing, kittening, or as an emcee. She has performed in Colorado, Florida, Hawaii, and Las Vegas and has made a name for herself with her "Unstable Stables" custom My Little Pony figures. Miss Terrie is an award winning performer, having been voted Peaks and Pasties Best Neo Act of 2018. She is known as "The Sexiest Story on the Shelf" and "The Puzzle You Wish You Could Solve" and plans to continue performing and traveling for many years to come.
Pin Up Polly turned to Burlesque after rebelling against her formal training in classical ballet, gymnastics, modern dance, and cheerleading. She quickly embraced the seductive and creative outlet that Burlesque performance afforded her, ditching the dull stuff to make her debut with Peaks and Pasties in 2009. At that time you may have seen her gallivanting around at local venues such as the triple nickel, venue 515, South Side Johnny’s, the Underground, and Ms. Belles Lounge. Polly returns to Peaks and Pasties to once again grace the stage, this time with new tricks up her sleeves if she can keep them on! During her travels, she has received training in flexibility, contortion, and the aerial arts from establishments such Pole Expo Las Vegas, Black Hills Aerial & Cirque at Barefoot Dance Studios, The Dollhouse, The Aviary, and the Minneapolis Performing Arts Center. With a diverse skill set and an affinity for costuming, her acts are certain to impress and entertain.
Romeo Uncaged is known as The Bad Boy of Burlesque! He’s a former MMA star and World Champion grappler. When he’s not performing boylesque, you might find him modelling nude or producing shows and parties through his production company Taboo Productions. He most recently was selected as a Protégé to compete in the 2017 Golden Legend Champion Challenge.
No power in the ‘verse can stop her. Although she graduated in October 2018 and is one of the newer members of Peaks and Pasties, Serenity Mystique’s love affair with the troupe started long ago. She attended her first Peaks and Pasties show in 2013 and has been hooked ever since. Serenity and her partner-in-crime Alexander Draegon attended burlesque shows for years before finally jumping in titties first and taking the academy together to surprise each other with their first performances. Serenity has volunteered for every show possible since then, and she has already performed a number of group acts in addition to her solo acts on stage. If you couldn’t tell from her name, Serenity is a huge nerd and thus a huge fan of nerdlesque. Master of the slow tease, Serenity most often portrays strong female characters discovering their power, and she loves flirting with dark, intense acts in addition to her playful, fun performances.
Graduating with the April 2018 class, Velvet Merlot took immediately to the art of burlesque and being on stage. Her dedication and passion quickly got noticed by her mentors and she was asked to be a part of the group number at the 2018 Colorado Burlesque Festival. Velvet grew up in rural Colorado as a farmer’s daughter, so while she may seem like she’s all ruffles and rhinestones, she’s not afraid to get down and dirty either! When Velvet isn’t on stage performing, she enjoys being a self-taught professional photographer specializing in Boudoir photography helping women and men alike build self-confidence which is really what sexy is made of after all! Don’t be fooled by her name though: Velvet prefers a sweet Moscato over a Merlot…….unless it’s smooth as Velvet. That would be like sex in a glass, or our very own, Velvet Merlot!